Mom

Two weeks ago, I found out some bad news. My Mom was in the hospital. She had surgery on her colon and was in ICU. I didn't panic right away because she has been in ICU more than once before and has had colon problems for some time. After about 24 hours or so with no word, we decided we had to make the 1,000 mile drive to Montana. Jenn cleared her schedule and we headed out Friday Morning. By this time Mom was unresponsive and in a coma.

When we got there on Saturday, I was given the briefing that her colon burst and she was basically going to die. My family hesitated to tell me this fact before I got there, though I instinctively knew it. I went up to see her and she was on a breathing tube that was shoved up her nose while bags of blood pressure meds and painkillers fed her through dripping bags.

By nightfall on Saturday, two of my brothers, two of my aunts and my eighty three year old grandmother stood at her bedside. She made jerky movements that gave us hope but the doctors said it was bodily reaction. The doctor gathered us together and explained the situation. He performed surgery on her colon and her body was not responsive. She never came out of the coma, and by Saturday both kidneys and her liver had failed. Her hands and feet were turning purple because her heart and lungs were taking all of the blood. The decision given to us was not if she could survive, but when we would take her off the medication to end her earthly misery.

Although my mother had a truckload of problems before she landed here, she left no will or power of attorney. We were forced to make the call. My aunt read scripture and we sat there for hours watching her, hoping for a sign of alertness. Finally, as the oldest son, I announced I couldn't watch her that way anymore. We would all have to accept the fact that she had a hard life and it was time to set her free from her earthly body that was being kept alive by breathing tubes and narcotics. I told the doctors to first remove the support and we would say our goodbyes. I sat on one side of the bed while my Aunt Diane (Mom's older sister) sat on the other. Other family members retreated to the waiting room or fell asleep on chairs at the foot of her bed. The chaplain brought a radio to play soothing music at our request. I was hoping to play her all-time favorite, Elvis, but settled for what she had, which was Willie Nelson and Fleetwood Mac, two other artists Mom liked.

After two hours of playing music and holding her hand while trying to stay awake, I suddenly was extremely alert. I felt my inner voice say it was time and the song playing was, "Always on My Mind." I looked at my Aunt Diane across the bed and we both knew. Mom took one last deep breath of air and then it was over. Her chest rested in peace as I held her hand. At that moment my Aunt and I erupted in tears and the rest of the family was informed of the news they knew was coming.

She passed away at 6:45 AM on Sunday morning. The reality of her painful life was over. She had recently worked her way out of a nursing home after landing there due to health issues from pain medications. She was 55 years old. We had a memorial on Tuesday that the good folks of the Harvest Church in Billings put together for her.



Over the next couple of days I went through all of her things and found many useful ideas and helpful documents that will aid in writing my novel, which will now include many things I did not know about her conditions and the medications she was on.

Through times of crisis you find out who truly cares. Jenn has been by my side for every grueling second of this process and there is no amount of thank yous or I love yous that can express my gratitude for this woman.

I am choosing to look at the bright side of this situation. My mom was in bad shape, yet it was the lowest point in my life. God works in decisive ways.  Thanks Mom for all you gave, and all you left for us. I love you and hopefully you like your new place.